She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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