if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
