My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
