just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
is wine microwaveable?
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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