we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
