I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize