Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
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