My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
