How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
my nose is crying tears of wow.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
