she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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