I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
