she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
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