I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I just saw a hot homeless man
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
So squirting runs in the family.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
You ate ashes out of my bong
Randomize
