Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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