dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
