dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
