So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
