Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize