in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize
