no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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