Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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