we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Randomize
