Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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