I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
