You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Randomize
