Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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