Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
