Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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