We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
