i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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