Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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