Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
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