i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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