Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
