You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
