HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
