Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
