somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
