but the lizard people decide everything anyway
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
