i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Randomize
