i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
