My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
