I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
