We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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