Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
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