I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Randomize
