We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Randomize
