I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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