Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize