Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
