I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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