Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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