areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
