I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
