No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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