i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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