So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
