Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
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Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
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They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
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