I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
This is my gift to your gina
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Dick very happy bro
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
