we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
