Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Randomize
