My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
