whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
