I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
