its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
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