Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Randomize
